Through the years of having been with the husband I have slowly been thinking more and more about making a New year's resolution that I truly believe in. Although he and I have never spoken of this specific topic before and if we have, probably just in passing. We have however, had many a conversation about not changing but bettering ourselves.
He has taught me that to ask for someone to change is unrealistic and quite unfair.
He explains this by taking our relationship as an example. He says he fell in love with everything that I am. To him, I am perfect in every way. Of course I start to protest this every time he says I am perfect and that I'm his angel. He shushes me and tells me to listen. He then proceeds to explain that, yes, I have some qualities that are considered not good, for example, having a temper. To him he says, all that I am, all of who I am even if it's considered bad is what makes me perfect for him. He fell in love with the woman he has seen smiling, witnessed losing her temper, has had sudden inexplicable tantrums, has given him the most loving hugs and kisses, has made him lose his mind over something so trivial, the woman who gave him his perfect little family, the same woman who starts a fight because she had a dream about him leaving her. He says all that, everything else and more is what makes me, me -- the woman he loves and he says, the woman he will love forever. So to ask me to change is stupid on his part and unfair.
Although, we both believe that we both need to better ourselves...together. Despite the fact that we've only been married a year, The year's before when we were the best of friends, working together in the same office and both wearing the uniform, we have proven that we truly do work together harmoniously. We were both pulling each other up althrougout the time we worked together. We both kept each other inspired and aspiring for more. The goal? Nothing. We just knew we were both smart and good enough not do well with work that we wouldn't allow ourselves not to do well. We were a very good team at work. Fast, efficient and we never brought any drama to work. Work was work and everything else was private.
At home we were raising Zenon. Although, the husband came into Zenon's and my life quite a bit later, we acted like we've been married for years.
We have been told we act like an old couple at work. We bickered and competed at work like an old couple - mean but respectful and loving to each other.
We respected that we were both parents and to not have our son see us fight.. We never correct each other in front of Zenon especially when we're trying to discipline or teach him.
Together, we've had many dreams come true, many goals realized and we continue to dream and make plans together. We have so much we want to accomplish and we know we can only do them together because apart we're very good, but together we're unstoppable.
So my new year's resolutions consist of things I want to be able to make better so we can be a better, more loving couple whose dreams are fulfilled because no matter how good things are, things can always be better, and because we never stop dreaming!
1. I want to be more confident. To stop questioning myself and my capabilities.
Husband described me as being badass at work. I was confident and I was good at it because I knew my as we like to call it, s**t. Yet, for everything else, I always second guess myself and he says I shouldn't...I now agree he is right. I have yet to fail miserably in things I do. Although I haven't achieved some goals as of yet, it doesn't mean that I have failed. I haven't failed because the opportunity for me to make good the plans I've had, the plans I've abandoned and the goals I have yet to begin working on, all opportunities remain viable. They are viable and with all honesty so much easier for me to grasp because now I have purpose. I have a reason to push myself now and I have learned and grown so much these past few years, too.
2. Allow myself to accept that not everything has to be perfect.
"Fights will happen and it's normal". ~Husband
I have to realize that our fights shouldn't be a be all, end all. Fights are normal because we are both very passionate and we are both needy. We need each other, we rely on each other so much that fights will be inevitable but they have to be taken for what they are and not blown out of proportion.
3. To take my time and learn to relax.
Everyday doesn't have to be a hectic week and overly productive day. Lazy days are good because it's the lazy days when we're at home doing nothing that the kids will remember the most. It's when we're at home simply enjoying each other's company that they will have the most memories of not the trips, and not the expensive gifts.
Everything does not have to be a learning opportunity. I have to allow our kids to be kids and learn on their own. I need to chill and stop worrying that they're going to fail if I don't push the learning in their souls.
I need to be able to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night worrying about sown thing that's beyond my control yet insist on having control over.
Relax. What matters is we said good morning, kissed each, kissed the kids to start our day right, greeted each other welcome home and hugged and kissed again, made sure wvryoen had a good day and addressed any issues we may have had during the day so we're all stress and problem free, that we said goon don't and kissed and hugged again, and lastly, repeat again and again and again to perpetuity.
Allow things to happen as they should. Not all plans unfold all at once. Some of them take years and I have to be patient.
Meanwhile my least profound resolutions are:
1. Save for our dream home, for travel, for fancy clothes, etc. just save because I'm ready for our dream home to be ours. Also, I love to travel and traveling and experiencing new things with my little family is so much fun so more of that please!
2. Do more of what I love and enjoy the process of getting better at it.
Write, draw, paint, even decorate the house or plan the kids' birthdays and make my arts and crafts project for it. The more I do it, the better I become.
3. Learn something new.
Sewing machine. I'm still not for with you!
4. Read more by myself with the kids.
I used to love books and I've finally found a book that I love but I've only been able to read a fifth of the book and I've had it for 4 months now.
Zenon is an amazing reader but he does not enjoy reading the am way I used to. I would love for him to enjoy it, too. As for Zayden, I really believe that reading a lot to Zenon helped him to become the super smart kid he is now so I need to read more to him and have Zenon continue to read to him. He loves his Kuya Zenon so much!
So much more to add but I have to take it slow. That's part of my New Years resolution after all right? Take it slow, enjoy the process of getting to where I want to be.
Happy 2016!
Cheers to making your own New Year's resolutions! I hope that fulfilling your goals will be an amazing journey for you!
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